I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wish I only lived at night.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
