I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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