I accidentally burped into my bong.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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