I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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