They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
