please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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