just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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