The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
