paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
