You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
