we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
