From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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