Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
