help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
