Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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