I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
