my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
