I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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