omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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