hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
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