yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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