I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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