she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
