He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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