Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
organizing the empties. That sober.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
