last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
