put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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