You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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