Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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