i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
