She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
