Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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