There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
