It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
