hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
