I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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