It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
