im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
