I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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