We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
