So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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