I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
