I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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