very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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