Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
