I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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