I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
