i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
