eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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