Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
