Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
